


Domesticity

by Rowby



Category: Waterparks (Band)
Genre: Domestic shit is my JAM, Fluffy Ending, M/M, Panic Attacks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-17
Updated: 2018-06-17
Packaged: 2019-05-24 10:10:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,414
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14952671
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rowby/pseuds/Rowby
Summary: A calm night of self reflection.





	Domesticity

**Author's Note:**

> Just a little thing to get creative juices flowin' :)

In all their years of knowing each other, Geoff has never seen an episode this bad. The very image was burned into his mind, probably forever.

Awsten was clawing at the wall, scrawling what Geoff  _ hoped  _ was marker on the wall next to their bed, he had puffy pink cheeks illuminated by the small lamp on his bed and a never-ending streak of tears rolling down both.

Geoff's response was immediate. He shut the door, threw his lanyard of keys on their bed, then went towards him, lightly taking him by the shoulders to pull him away from the wall. “Awsten,” he breathed, “Hey, listen- oh, jeez…” he got a good look at his hands, each fingertip swollen and red, trailing blood to smear across the rest of his hand. “Oh, no,  _ Awsten _ …”

“I couldn't take it anymore.” Awsten’s voice was hoarse and scratchy as Geoff slowly lead him to the bed to sit down. “It-It got too loud, I needed it to stop. It wouldn't stop, it  _ wouldn’t stop _ … I'm sorry, I dunno what I was doing.”

“Don't apologize, hey.” Geoff pulled him close for a hug, noting red, bleeding marks on his neck. “What happened, can you talk about it?” As he pulled away, he tried looking at Awsten in the eyes.

Awsten didn't offer a response other than a sob, clutching his hand as tight as he could, letting blood pulse from his fingers and roll down the insides, collecting in the lines on his palm.

“Hey, c'mon.” Geoff stood up, and if it wasn't for his determination to seem strong, he would have crumbled on his shaky legs there. “We’re gonna get you cleaned up, okay? Come on, can you stand up?”

Awsten followed his lead, but it was only two steps before he fell, his knees buckling below him and his face hitting the carpet.

Everything felt too loud. Too close. Too much. Even when Geoff came forward again, he found himself scrambling back, kicking away his arms and grabbing the back of his neck, digging his nails into the tender, painful skin. He didn't know what was happening, all he knew is that everything was too much, everything hurt. He was screaming, but he didn't know what he was saying, if he was saying anything at all.

“Awsten!” Geoff grabbed his wrists, jerk in them away from his neck and holding them together. “Awsten, shh, shh. Calm down, please.” There was an alarm to his tone, but he tried to sound as calm as he could. He's never seen a panic attack this bad, he's never had to deal with this much. “Awsten, listen to me. Please, I need you to listen to me.” His chest was beating hard, shaking him to his core. “Awsten, please, try to breathe. Just breathe, okay?” he fought off another attempt of Awsten trying to move away from him. “Hey, please. Please, listen to me, baby, okay?”

Awsten was trying to listen, but he _had to get away_. He didn't need this touching, he didn't need Geoff's loud voice right in his ear, _please let me go I can't talk._ _Please let me go leave me ALONE._

Finally,  _ finally _ , he managed to get his hands away, hugged around himself instead. Out of the corner of his teary eye, he saw Geoff sit down in front of him, patient. He just paid attention to the feeling of the blood soaking into his sweater, feeling the matted, wet fabric.

It was quiet from then on. Geoff stood up and walked off, only to come back with a wet rag and a box of bandaids. “Hey, lemme see your hand.” He held his own hand out, letting Awsten give his up on his own time. He held it firmly, but not too tight as he pressed the rag to his hand, wiping the blood up. Then, he wrapped each finger in a band aid. “You okay now?” he asked softly. 

Awsten shrugged, letting Geoff hold his hand as he contemplated what just happened.

Then, Geoff gasped, starting to stand. “Shit, your neck. Hang on, I'll clean the rag, and-”

“Geoff, just don't.” Awsten now grabbed Geoff's hand with his injured, pulling him back down. “It'll be fine, it's whatever.”

“No, it's not. I'm not letting it get infected,” Geoff protested, but didn't get up at the sight of Awsten's oddly unemotional gaze directed at the ground.

“They're from m’ damn nails, not a fuckin’ knife.” His knees drew up to his chest, and with one and he hugged them tight, the other still holding onto Geoff’s hand. “Please, just leave it alone.”

Geoff hesitated, a stutter step before he spoke again, almost without his own permission. “I'm not gonna let you ruin yourself like this.”

Still, Awsten seemed unaffected by emotion. “What's it matter? I just hold off another panic for a few days, then this happens again, then again and again. When has it ever changed, it's like clockwork by now.”

“It's not.” Geoff shifted to sit in front of Awsten, now taking his other hand in his. “Aws, hun, listen. Your anxiety isn't predictable, and neither are panic attacks. And before you say it, I'm not getting sick of you. It's super rough to deal with, but I'm willing to deal with it.”

Awsten just nodded. Geoff has said that before, and it always made him feel a little better, but he was still mostly shaky from his panic attack. It came out of nowhere, as if a swarm of hawks swooped down and dive into every piece of his brain, shrieking in his ears and clawing at his neck. Now, he felt like barely a skeleton, devoured by a wake of hungry vultures cleaning up the scraps and leaving him with this black puddle of anxiety, right in the middle of his heart.

With Geoff helping him up, they both slowly gravitated to the bed. First sitting down, then laying down, sharing the same pillow as Awsten turned to bury his face in Geoff's neck. The black pit of anxiety had started to melt away, to become less concentrated. That doesn't mean it went away, it just smoothed and spread out all throughout his blood, ready to become a heart pit some other time. He was okay with that, as long as he was calm now.

Geoff's initial scare over Awsten being hurt left him a little shaken, but he was glad he got home before Awsten did anything too drastic. Some bleeding fingers and scratch marks aren't so bad. There's definitely been worse injuries, but… Awsten has never kicked him away screaming. He was sure there'd be a bruise on his arm in the morning, but that didn't matter. What mattered is that Awsten was alright.

It was quite the scare, but they were alright. Geoff would deal with the neck marks tomorrow, as Awsten felt comfortable pressed against him and he was already halfway asleep. 

_ Shit, I have work to do.  _ He had a few assignments he needed to be done by tomorrow, but… if he moved, Awsten would probably wake up. He could work himself to death the next morning, it would be worth it for a few hours that Awsten gets to sleep.

He used his feet to get his shoes off, then used the hand not hugging Awsten to unclasp his necklace and set it on their bedside table. Then, he reached behind Awsten’s neck to undo his own necklace, setting it on the little table as well. 

He paused to smile at the simple silver ring looped between purple trinkets. Then, he lifted his own hand to look at the matching ring on his own finger. A few years ago, he never would have known his highschool sweetheart would be his lifelong husband. It was a rocky road to get where they are now, the hardest challenge being to find someone that would officiate their wedding instead of trying to ruin it, but he's overwhelmed with happiness are there they are now. 

He's not afraid to say “my husband” at work, he's perfectly content, and Awsten doesn't hold back when expressing his affection, mostly through Instagram posts with captions in all caps a half a billion heart emojis. 

It was disgustingly domestic, and that's how they liked it. Their teenage years were hectic enough, dealing with untreated depression and anxiety, it was about time their life settle down. What better way to settle down than together?


End file.
